Apartment Hunting: It's Not the Journey, It's the Destination
The first place was all right. Nothing to sneeze at from the outside and when the lady showing me the place couldn’t unlock 3 of the 4 available units I had some flash backs. But, inside was a nice studio, with the tiniest closet I’ve ever seen. It had some lovely urban jungle acoustics coming from the busy street below and for $900 a month plus utilities on my own, my stomach was less than alkaline. I collected an application and went on to check out the next one.
I haven’t quite figured out public transit as indicated in the post pervious to this, so on foot I trekked to my next locale. This was an $850/monther and started out okay. Off the street in the alley, was a smaller apartment structure surrounded in thick bamboo and vines. Little broken cobble stones went up to each apartment of cracked peeling paint as the smell of mildew crept into my nose. This could go either way. Continue...
Things took a turn for the worst when I was let inside. I wish I had pictures for you, but I would be worried one of the neighbors would shiv me for my iPhone for crack money. The door was rusting off its hinges as the cockroaches scattered. The linoleum was lifting up revealing years of dirt and rotting floor, the stove door was gapping open and didn’t shut. But, heck it came with a fan, thanks landlady! She also was decent enough to introduce to my would be new neighbors. Next door were two shirtless trashy low lifes, smoking in their dingy room, watching girls gone wild.
Next!
Many Hawaiians also rent out rooms in their homes because property has gotten so exorbitant here, places they’ve lived in for ever, they can no longer afford on their own. This is how I met Boomer. A 50ish year old man who is renting out two of the three rooms in his place. One of the first things he says to me is “Well we’re losing our pretty girl, so it would be a good thing if you moved in.” Comments like those were sandwiched into the conversation between him selling me on all the fabulous accessories such as purified air, water, air conditioning, and every cable channel in the world. In between his breaths for air, when I could get a word in, I would mention those things have no value to me. I’m 25, so there for invincible (no need for the purified stuff). I moved to hawaii because I’m cold all the time (I actually hate aircon). Also, I don’t watch TV. “What about the Olympics? You can TiVO everything! Even watch clips from the last Olypics!” Seriously he was selling to me. Finally he explains the listed price of around $800/month (WAY too much for a place in someone’s home) was not including utilities. It was going to be around $930 with them. Shit. But, at this point my options were the barren studio for around that much, plus utilities on my own, or this place. So I was kind of interested. Except for the, “Well the girl that’s here now is just a 7, so you’d be a step up!” & “I only date younger girls, like 25, girls like to have an older surfer dude boyfriend and I like ‘em energetic. How old are you?” this place did seem to have value to me. So I said maybe and skirted out of there with an application.
Then, I went to see this apartment who was occupied by this nice Jewish boy studying meteorology at the University of Hawaii. El Niño to be exact. (I know, right? Who knew that was still around?) I walked in, looked around, and asked if I could move in that night. I hope I didn’t freak him out or anything.
So, the worst of this all was when I called Boomer back. The conversation is as follows:
“Hi, so I ended up renting this other place, sorry about that.”
“Oh yeah? Hmmm. Well just one question for you - Why did you spend so much time talking with me if you were just wasting my time?”
“Whoa, you sound a little defensive.”
“I am NOT DEFENSIVE!!”
“Well, it was simply a matter of economics, this place was much more affordable to me.”
He rants about value in cable and purified air for sometime.
“And, like I said, those thing just are not valuable to me, I bet someone else would be much more interested and really enjoy living with you.”
“Well FINE. I hope you enjoy living in a SHIT HOLE!”
“You are being very inappropriate!”
*click*
Well then, I’m certainly glad I did not move in with that one.
I haven’t quite figured out public transit as indicated in the post pervious to this, so on foot I trekked to my next locale. This was an $850/monther and started out okay. Off the street in the alley, was a smaller apartment structure surrounded in thick bamboo and vines. Little broken cobble stones went up to each apartment of cracked peeling paint as the smell of mildew crept into my nose. This could go either way. Continue...
Things took a turn for the worst when I was let inside. I wish I had pictures for you, but I would be worried one of the neighbors would shiv me for my iPhone for crack money. The door was rusting off its hinges as the cockroaches scattered. The linoleum was lifting up revealing years of dirt and rotting floor, the stove door was gapping open and didn’t shut. But, heck it came with a fan, thanks landlady! She also was decent enough to introduce to my would be new neighbors. Next door were two shirtless trashy low lifes, smoking in their dingy room, watching girls gone wild.
Next!
Many Hawaiians also rent out rooms in their homes because property has gotten so exorbitant here, places they’ve lived in for ever, they can no longer afford on their own. This is how I met Boomer. A 50ish year old man who is renting out two of the three rooms in his place. One of the first things he says to me is “Well we’re losing our pretty girl, so it would be a good thing if you moved in.” Comments like those were sandwiched into the conversation between him selling me on all the fabulous accessories such as purified air, water, air conditioning, and every cable channel in the world. In between his breaths for air, when I could get a word in, I would mention those things have no value to me. I’m 25, so there for invincible (no need for the purified stuff). I moved to hawaii because I’m cold all the time (I actually hate aircon). Also, I don’t watch TV. “What about the Olympics? You can TiVO everything! Even watch clips from the last Olypics!” Seriously he was selling to me. Finally he explains the listed price of around $800/month (WAY too much for a place in someone’s home) was not including utilities. It was going to be around $930 with them. Shit. But, at this point my options were the barren studio for around that much, plus utilities on my own, or this place. So I was kind of interested. Except for the, “Well the girl that’s here now is just a 7, so you’d be a step up!” & “I only date younger girls, like 25, girls like to have an older surfer dude boyfriend and I like ‘em energetic. How old are you?” this place did seem to have value to me. So I said maybe and skirted out of there with an application.
Then, I went to see this apartment who was occupied by this nice Jewish boy studying meteorology at the University of Hawaii. El Niño to be exact. (I know, right? Who knew that was still around?) I walked in, looked around, and asked if I could move in that night. I hope I didn’t freak him out or anything.
So, the worst of this all was when I called Boomer back. The conversation is as follows:
“Hi, so I ended up renting this other place, sorry about that.”
“Oh yeah? Hmmm. Well just one question for you - Why did you spend so much time talking with me if you were just wasting my time?”
“Whoa, you sound a little defensive.”
“I am NOT DEFENSIVE!!”
“Well, it was simply a matter of economics, this place was much more affordable to me.”
He rants about value in cable and purified air for sometime.
“And, like I said, those thing just are not valuable to me, I bet someone else would be much more interested and really enjoy living with you.”
“Well FINE. I hope you enjoy living in a SHIT HOLE!”
“You are being very inappropriate!”
*click*
Well then, I’m certainly glad I did not move in with that one.
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1 Comments:
awesome, no tiki huts where available?
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