Time keeps on slippin' by

Even though the anxiety dreams have seemed to stop, I've slowly been noticing my mind drift to real life stress out thoughts of my next year's adventure. Gone are the countless nights of forgetting to pack dreams, or forgetting to buy my ticket from Eugene to New York (which in case you are wondering brain, I already have bought!), but in their place is a completely new anxiety. Some are silly when verbalized – will people like me? Will anyone be mean to me? Will I remember everyone's name? Will I be able to get around okay? Will I get lost? Some are more legit – Will I lose touch with the people I love? What if this is not what I really want to do? Should I have just gotten some job in Portland? Will I have enough money when I'm there?

A year is a long time. I can't even begin to think how I will react and change. I am about to meet my 70 new friends for the next year of my life. That's weird. I don't know any of them and soon a few will be my new best friends. And some of them won't like me. And some I probably won't like. This is all normal for social grouping, but it's still weird to think about before it happens. Excluding the summer camp I worked at, I haven't gone to a completely different place knowing nobody since I left for college four years ago. And that was still in the same country.

So I find my mind wondering to these thoughts more and more often. And as I finalize my plans, pack my boxes, start to begin the goodbyes, I can't imagine it is going to get any easier.