The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Morning

First I couldn’t dial the numbers on my phone to call work to tell them I was late. I kept miss dialing over and over, which was making me later and later. Then I realized I was dialing the number for my elementary school. Then I looked down and saw I was using my house phone was I was 16. Then I woke up.

(It is so unfair to waste dream time on real things. My first job was at an ice cream parlor and I used to dream of scooping. Now sometimes I dream of .mac. Unreal. Why can’t I be dreaming of sex?)

So I woke up. I had 12 minutes to get to work! There is nothing I enjoy more than a large cup of coffee and a little RSS catch up, so I thrive on a leisurely morning. A high anxiety dream to a stressed out morning = cranky Jess.

Then my widget says five minutes till the bus. I run around throwing things in pockets and I’m out the door. Around the corner I watch the bus fly by. Poop. Chalk it all up to bad transit karma. I must have pissed off a light rail in a former life.

The buses come around 15 minutes, and there are several that I could take. But, they all leave at the same 15 minute intervals. What ever could be the sense in that? I miss one and I miss all the possibilities.

While I wait, a dirty old man walks by. Looks at me with a sidewise glance when walking by. Then turns and looks. Then a little later turns and looks again. I pretend to be really interested in the “Jesus Saves” flyer stuck in the bench. Then the yucky guy turns and walks towards me. Why why why didn’t I put my head phones in??? But, he just jesters to my hair, signifying that it was out of place. Honesty, I thought it looked fine. When did the bums get a better sense of style than me?

A new bus finally rounds the bend, I sit, and look up. Two seats dead ahead is a baby. Thinking it is so cute and all. It starts cooing at me. Like I have an iota of a maternal instinct. This baby has me all confused for someone who cares.

I pull the stop cord at the wrong stop, but I always seem to have too much pride to tell the bus drive I screwed up. So I now I had to walk too long in the monsoon. Yeah! Go day of rush anxiety, hair insecurity, and baby annoyance.